Getting from point A

Wow, best nights sleep EVER. I bought this 6" feather and foam mixed bed topper. And OMG it was like sleeping on a cloud! The dogs jumped up on it as soon as I put it on the bed and they just melted into the bed. I was still taking calls (I work from home) and when I finally logged off, I looked over and there was Thorn. Passed out smack in the middle of this thing. We took a picture. It didn't come out too good but you get the idea.
Anyway, the reason I bought the bed topper in the first place is because I wanted to get rid of my bedroom set, which is a constant reminder of B, and put the new futon and entertainment center in my room in it's place. Well you would think I said I was going to be sleeping on a bed of nails the way the kids all freaked out and basically forbid me from sleeping on a futon. It's a medieval torture device that no mother of theirs is going to be sleeping on. Considering the fact that I woke up this morning with no aches and pains for the first time in over a decade, I think I'm going to be okay once we take the bed out and bring the futon in. YAY!

I have to finish emptying the bed wall and take it apart. That's going up on craig's list for sale. I'm throwing the armoir away (it's old and no good) and the dresser will go in #7's room. I can't wait till this is all done. I need to paint and decorate but the big stuff will be done!

I have alot of work to do, and I'll try to take some pics of my progress as I move along.
Love and Peace

Thorn, annoyed that we were interrupting his cushy feather bed nap to take pics.

So where was I?

Ah yes, getting myself organized. I got new furniture. DIL #1 calls me up and says she has 2 rooms of furniture that someone is giving away. It's like brand new and FREE. So I got a livingroom set with a leather sofa, loveseat and overstuffed chair. All SUPER comfy. A big screen TV to go with it. And another room of furniture. A big oak entertainment center with a heavy duty well made futon (not the cheesy metal kind, real wood and a big thick mattress). I bought a feather bed to go on top of it and I'm redoing my bedroom with that furniture. I'm going to put the old dresser from when I was a little girl (that B left in the garage for the last 15 years) in my room too. That's painted blue still from when #4 was using it back in the last house. It's time to stop living on the things I had with B. I'll take pics of everything as soon as the stuff is all laid out the way I want it. So you can see. I'm hoping to have most of it done by the end of January. I'm working on the bedroom today!
I also enrolled in Nursing school and will be starting in March. That's a good job that I can make alot of money doing and not have to give up on my dreams. RN's work 3 - 12 hour shifts. Which leaves me 4 days a week to work on things that make me truly happy. And I'll make enough in those 3 days to cover all my bills, so it won't matter if I go a little while without selling anything!
Peace and Love

I haven't written in a while...

But with good reason. I have gotten SO much accomplished! I last left off right before the neighborhood yard sale so I'll try and recap a bit:
 #1 and I dropped off 3 car loads of stuff at B's house because he never did get around to picking anything up. My 2 attics are still filled to the brim and he STILL has a pile of junk in the garage!!! Yes STILL. God help me. So we got the entire garage emptied. We put B's piles outside and scrubbed the walls down with bleach and painted and the I bought the materials to build the art studio. Son #1 is building that this weekend and I couldn't be happier. It's been so very difficult to get things made working in the house. The craft room is so packed you can't work in there, so I pull out whatever materials I'm working on and bring it to the dining room. That of course poses a huge issue when we have to sit down to eat, I have to schlep all my stuff back into the craft room every night! I have a healthy stock ready to post on Etsy which will hopefully be launched this weekend. DIL #1 is supposed to help with that. And at the yard sale I sold the majority of my costumes from over the years and the people that bought them ALL asked me if I could make them some custom costumes. So I have about 5 gowns and a Pirate Captain's coat that I'm going to be making. It did wonders for the ego hearing that my work is beautiful from someone that I didn't give birth to.

Quick rundown on a friendship lost. I have probably 4 BFF's. All of whom I met at different points in my life. I'm still very close with all of them and we speak at least once a week even though they live all over the country. The one I've known the least amount of time K, is not speaking to me. It breaks my heart because we used to talk every day, and although we were very different, we did shows together and she was supposed to be a big part of Wicked Muse. So here is what happened. . .
The beautiful 2000 sq ft house up in NPR that my mother left me was vacant for over a year and I was going to have to start paying the mortgage in a month because mom's money was exhausted. The tenant had moved out and I was working with the bank to see about making it a halfway house for people that needed help getting back on their feet. K knew all about the situation with the house. Last year, she and her husband F (which is very fitting no matter what name you decide F stands for) had gotten evicted from their home for not paying the rent for almost a year. F stopped working 1 week after they got engaged and sat waiting to collect disability. K was working 2 jobs and just couldn't make the rent money. F would bad mouth the landlord to anyone who would listen, saying that the guy was totally unreasonable, he should be more understanding and even though he lowered the rent $400 for them when F lost his job, he was still a jerk. Did I mention I have a very low opinion of F? She used to call me the minute she clocked out of work and we would talk from 5pm till midnight while we both did crafts, watched tv, cooked dinner etc. F sleeps on the couch because his disability prevents him from touching anything, he has peripheral neuropathy and everything hurts all the time. So she gets home, eats and goes straight to her room where she sits alone talking to me on the phone. On the weekends she would come and sleep over on Friday and go home on Sunday. So I don't see what exactly if anything was in the marriage for her. (he couldn't even do the important husband thing!)
So they wound up moving into this teeny tiny dump. The whole house could fit in my livingroom and it was just awful. K was miserable there but it's all she could afford on her salary. The rest of her money went to pay for F's cigarettes, meds and pet food for their 6 dogs and cats (don't even go there!) She'd tell me how once he got his disability he was going to get them a really nice place and get her a car that didn't break down twice a week. Well 2 years later he got his disability. HUGE check, it gets retro'd back. And he went out and bought himself a new SUV with it and bought her a red WII! No new place, no car for K. And K isn't even allowed to drive his SUV because she's apparently to stupid. But he blew through his whole check in about a week. Again, I don't like him.

She calls me up crying that the new landlord threatened to come with some big thugs and remove them from the house because she didn't pay the rent AGAIN, this time because the stove wasn't working, and she had no place to go. She knew the house in NPR was empty and I said "I can talk to HUD and see about you moving in there I guess, if it were just you, I'd let you stay here." She also knows the mortgage payments are $850 a month and tells me "I can only give you $600 a month right now." So I say I guess I can cover it for a few months till they figure something out. Well, she gets all excited and next thing I know F is up in NPR looking in the windows at the house. I've got a knot in my stomach because I have to figure out where I'm going to get this money to pay part of there rent! He comes by my house and tells me he is going to mow the lawn the next day (can't touch his wife, but he can push a lawn mower around no problem) and how he can do alot with the house. He says "It'll be a win win for everybody!"  I was fuming. I said "It's not a win for me! It's a lose lose for me! It's temporary F, just until you can find a place you can afford. The mortgage is $850 and I can't be covering your bills." He then says "Well after the year is up, we can talk about the money again, but $850 is a little much for THAT house."  I was pissed off, my couple of months had some how turned into a year, he left.
I called HUD and gave my case worker a run down on what was going on and she took their names and info and was going to see how she could help me with the scenerio. 4 hours later she called me back saying "Are you out of your mind? That man has been evicted several times in 2 different counties! And with you stuck paying part of the mortgage to cover them the bank is going to want you to put up your own house as collateral for WHEN they run out on you and they are going to run out on you! Talk to your friend and tell her they will have to up the rent or if you're smart tell her no deal!"
I call K up and tell her that there are alot of fire-y hoops I have to jump through to make this happen if it happens at all. And she's really excited wanting to move yesterday. Then she tells me she can't give me any rent until the following month (it was the first week of the month!) So I hang up and call one of my other BFF'S and tell her I'm having a panic attack and she tells me to just explain that it can't be done and that's that! I still am debating because I truly feel bad for K.
F calls me up at about  10pm and starts telling me how he is going to get a job. He can't live on just his disability. He went on about it for half an hour and I said "That's awesome." I really didn't care OR believe a word of it. He then adds "I don't want to screw myself out of my disability though so I have to research what my options are first." I then tell him, "I was a medicare specialist F, the laws are, you can work the first 9 months with out any of it counting and then you can make up to $1000 a month before they deduct anything." He answers with "I have to research what they allow." (because I am retarded and didn't just tell him what they allow!)
So now I have a huge knot in my stomach and I go take a shower to relax and come out to a text message from F saying "I'm coming by in the morning to pick up the keys, I want to get in there and start putting my stuff away in the garage!" I put the phone down, went in the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine. This was getting worse by the minute. So I text K who was working her 2nd job and tell her that he can not under ANY circumstances have the keys nor could he put anything in the garage or any other room of the house. PERIOD.  She texts me back that he just needs a place to wash up and cool off. I tell her there is no water or electricity so he will have to go home for that. I drank my wine and went to bed. I got up to the phone ringing in the morning. It was K, she was all pumped up and excited. Talking about how they were discussing a rent to own thing. Oh and F was on his way to do the lawn.
Half an hour later there is a knock on my door. (I live in the opposite direction of the NPR house from where K & F live) It's F. I say "What do you want F?" He says "I'm here to get the keys!" That was it. I said "No, I am not giving you the keys. I can't do it. I will go up with you and show you the house if you like but you are not getting the keys F!" He says "I thought K straightened that out with you last night?" I say "Yes, I told her straight out NO." He leaves.
Half hour later my phone starts ringing ...again. It's K. "F is deeply deeply hurt. You are his ONLY friend, he doesn't have any friends except for you and he is wounded that you don't trust him enough to give him the keys to the house. And when he was interviewing the neighbors yesterday he was told that the AC didn't work right and there are problems with the house."
"I'm not his friend. I don't know why he has no friends, but I never volunteered for the job. Wait a minute. He was interviewing the neighbors? Are you kidding me? For WHAT?"
"He's excited, he wanted to introduce himself to everyone and find out what the deal with the house is."
"If he has a question about the house, he needs to ask ME. It's MY house. The AC works just fine. And I'm about over F right now."
"He is my husband and your friend and I can't believe you are treating us this way. Why are you being like this?"
So I reiterated all the things he's said and done in the past 24 hours that have upset me.I hadn't even gotten an okay from HUD and he was not only trying to get the keys and move his stuff in but he was interviewing my neighbors? I'm sorry but even if I didn't dislike the guy that would have all been a huge issue for me. And I can't let someone move into the house with no money. It's bad enough I was going to have to cover a portion of the rent money, I can't cover an entire month of it.
So she says "Well we didn't pay the rent at the house we're in because the stove wasn't working, we told the landlord we would pay it as soon as he fixed the stove.We'd NEVER do that to you! You're my best friend and I love you! I wouldn't allow F to screw you over!"
"Well if you didn't pay the rent, then you should still have it! What would you pay him if he came and fixed the stove right now?"
The rest of the conversation went like that. It wasn't fun for me.
She says "Of course you don't like him, you love me and nobody will ever be good enough for me. I don't understand why you can't treat him better, he's trying to help you out so the house isn't vacant and just sitting there. And you are being pretty ungrateful."

It went back and forth like that for a good 20 minutes and then that was the end of it.  FYI- Son #2 moved into the house with his gf and they are paying the entire mortgage.
But that's not when she stopped talking to me! We were scheduled to do a show up in St. Augustine about a month later and my car is still not working, #3 and I are sharing her car until I can afford to fix mine. So I tell K we need to take hers because #3 has to go to school and work with her car. K says her car won't make it and I was going to have to rent a car to go up. I ask why she can't borrow F's SUV since he doesn't work (still researching). She tells me that that will never happen and the only way we can go up with the SUV is if I get a motel room for all of us and their 6 animals. (again, I'm supposed to pay for all of this!) So I said forget it, game off. We aren't going. And THAT'S when she stopped talking to me.
So I'm doing Wicked Muse all on my own. The clothing line I've been working on is Wicked Gypsy Garden couture. I'm really excited about the clothing. I even bought a new sewing machine! This weekend we are taking pics of alot of my stuff and putting it up on Etsy and I will be working on the website this week as well. It's all coming together. I truly miss my friend, but I have to worry about my family and my life and all the wonderful things that are happening now. I can't get myself stressed over things that I have no control over.  

Let's try this one more time

I had written a rather lengthy post about what was going on here in my wicked world and I'm not sure what if anything I had done to make the page refresh and send my writing off into that dimension where socks time travel through the drier into. While I'm sure you can appreciate how wonderfully witty and captivating the original post was, I can hopefully get at least part of what I was trying to talk about down....again.

When I went to publish this I found the other post, so I'm just going to squish it right into the middle of this one!
When I got up this morning, my check had been direct deposited into the bank, huge relief there, I knew it was coming but I still don't feel quite right until it's safe and sound in the bank. So I paid the cable/phone/internet bill and the water bill. I also went to get a new mop (I bought the Libman one that has the refillable washing liquid dispenser and washable pads- which will save me money on disposables and allow me to wash the floors with my own blend of cleaning fluid, the stuff that they sell for the swiffer leaves the floors feeling sticky and gross and I always have to go back over it with hot water, so this will also save me a step!) Anyway, got a pair of pliers and son #2 fixed my leaking sink...finally!!! One thing down a million to go. But there is a certain level of peace of mind that is settling in as each thing gets done.
B informed me yesterday that he will never come back to me because my house is always a mess. So I grew a spinal column and told him flat out, he has until the end of this weekend to get whatever else of his that he wants or it's going out to the curb. (9/10's of my household clutter is due to his piles of junk that he is storing here in an effort to keep his new abode looking stellar) So he agreed to come get the 'few' things he has here. He is under the impression that there is only 1 or 2 things, but there is a leather sewing machine alone (he bought it for over a thousand dollars 10 years ago and never even plugged it in!!!) and because it is an industrial quality machine if of course is gi-normous and weighs as much as a volkswagon! Combine that with his console sewing machine that hasn't worked in 20 years and the 2 giant copy machines that he took home from the curb at work along with a few car and boat engines, he is going to have to fill up the trailer at LEAST 3 times to get the junk. And that isn't even counting the stuff he has in the attic! We have 2 full attics in my house and he has both of them filled to capacity with everything under the sun. You can't even imagine the looks I got when we were moving and the movers had come to the 50 year old rusty rotting sled that was his mothers when she was a girl. Of course that was 15 years ago and I can only imagine the state it's in NOW. He has giant model airplanes that have 6' wingspans that he made before he was even with me and a train set that, had he not stored it in my damn sweltering attic filled with stuff!


My day started late, the alarm didn't go off, turns out we had another storm last night and must've lost power, the time was blinking 12-12-12 at me. It was actually 8-8-8 and that means...yep the baby was late for school today. Of course they email both myself and B anytime she sneezes the wrong way, so he knows I overslept. She's been back in school since the beginning of August and with us being head long into October I'd say her 1 absence and 2 tardies for the year are not so bad. In fact when I went to California back in April, B brought her to school late every single day and his sister was late picking her up (45 minutes every day) This coming from the man who tells me about my flawed existence every chance he gets. And getting the 'she was late' email just gives him yet another reason to tell me how much better off the baby would be if she was with him. He can't even take care of the dog he went and bought right after he moved out - the 35 constant piles of dog poop that he has decorating his dining room (her favorite place to relieve herself) is not his fault, therefore he is still a better housekeeper than I could ever hope to be.
My goal is to hire a housekeeper to come in once a week and clean the wicked house.

Which brings me to the garage. After a text-bombing session with B yesterday *he likes to rapid fire text me so I can't respond* And he was going on about how he can't ever live with me again because my house is so cluttered, I said you know what B? You are absolutely right! You have until the end of this weekend to get all that clutter out of my house. We are talking a 2 and a 1/2 car garage filled front to back floor to ceiling with everything that he doesn't have room for in his pristine (yet dog poop covered) home. The neighborhood yard sale is this weekend and I will be cleaning out the garage for that anyway, but if B gets his stuff then son #1 can come and put up the walls for my new art studio, and son #2 can run the ducts for the a/c to go out there. Right now we can't do either because B's got both my attics full to the breaking point with treasures and the garage is a hot mess with all his junk. D-I-L #1 is coming over on Sunday to help me organize and clean up the house and craft room so that once the new art studio is done it will be a breeze to move everything over from the old room. That room is the one that I'm giving to her and son #1 in March when their lease is up because they are trying to save up and buy a house.
I honestly can't remember what else I wanted to tell you, so I will go finish reading my book (Kushiel's Dart- excellent story btw) and I'll come back and continue this post later on!

hugs and kisses
slave to the wicked muse

And the beat goes on...

Extremely frustrated with technology. I made a few videos of my work to put up on You Tube, and I edited them in the Microsoft thingy that came with the lap top. And YT doesn't accept the format, so now I have to redo all of them before I can post. My goal is to make enough things to sell at the show in St. Augustine at the end of the month and anything that doesn't sell there is going up on Etsy. Almost done with the mortgage being transferred into my name and as soon as that's all taken care of I'm going to refinance and gut the whole house to make it liveable. He left things all falling apart. So new kitchen, floors, paint and furniture. I'm hoping to have enough left to pick up this old airstream that I have been eying. It would be the absolute perfect thing for me to take to do shows with. Then if B ever finishes fixing my truck I will have everything set to go.
The neighborhood yard sale is this weekend, and I'm going to clean out the garage and sell everything I can, which is going to make B lose his mind. But I told him it has to go, and he keeps putting me off. Son #1 is going to build me a big beautiful craft room to work in out there and all B's stuff is piled literally to the ceiling. Son #2 used to do air conditioning for a living and he is going to run ducts out to the new room.
I can't wait. I have alot of good things finally starting to happen. Maybe I can get out of my feeling so lousy about B leaving. The kids think I should date. But I really don't want to. Partly because I still love B and partly because I am just getting to know ME again, I don't want to lose myself in someone else before I really know what it is I want.
I start my new job (working from home!!!!) on the 24th and that will help out immensely with the bills that have been piling up. And B is supposed to start paying child support on the 15th (after only 10 months! what a sport) but between the 2 boosts in my finances, I'll be able to coast for a while until the business thing takes off. I won't be sitting here with no lights!
Well that's all for now. I did start following a couple of blogs that other women are writing, they're artists too. Between them and all the wonderful artists on YT I am really learning ALOT. So thank you everyone for inspiring me!

Here we go!

Hi everyone (anyone?)
I'm finally here and writing! I have so many projects going on right now that if I don't sit down and organize myself I'm afraid I will never get it all done! I have spent the last 10 months figuring out how to live without my husband after 18 years of living with him (no he didn't die, he just decided he needed to be 16 again- I got way to old for him) I still love him, but I'm okay now. Anyway, during those 10 very strange months I spent a few hours every day reading and watching you tube videos of different altered art and scrapbooking tutorials. I have learned OODLES of wonderful techniques and my house is bursting at the seams with things I'm making. I've taken a course on fashion design and have been sewing like the dickens too. So I guess you can say I work with mixed media, because my favorites range from designing and making books, journals and altered repurposed objects to designing and sewing fantasy and historical (steampunk?) clothing, bags and accessories to making jewelry and on occasion when that wicked little muse of mine nudges me enough I make candles and soaps and things I need to feel pampered and girly. I'd probably really good at and successful at just sticking to one thing, but alas my wicked muse won't let me.
So my goal is to accept it, try to turn my crazy alternate universe of vintage creations into a business somehow. I'll be posting pics of my projects starting tomorrow while the baby is in school. Lord knows I have enough of them.
So be happy and creative and share in my roller coaster ride of finding out who I am, I would love the company!
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}


PS~ It was really nice to meet you!